As I sit here on a Saturday night, thinking of all the school things I should have finished today, I can't help thinking: when is it enough?
This semester, I'm teaching a new subject -- AP Language & Composition -- along with my usual sophomore English and being the adviser for the yearbook. I also have an online English elective for Mythology, so my days are pretty full.
In the Before Times, I spent most of Sunday planning and grading; but lately, I just cannot bring myself to do any of that. The more I think about all the ways my job has gotten more difficult over my 25-year career, the more aggravated I become. Then, I come across this post on Instagram:
Guess what the comments were? Yep...."Good thought, but when does the work get done?" When do I write lessons for AP Lang? How do I get the yearbook finished and submitted? Who's going to grade all those essays?
IDK....my Lang students are reading Gatsby, and we spent Friday discussing the juxtaposition of East Egg (the rich area) and the Valley of Ashes (the poor area) and all that is running through my mind is how teaching is the Valley of Ashes. I would never say that to my students --it's not them that makes teaching difficult (okay, sometimes the kids are grumpy, though). But how can I create cool lessons when I have to stay after school for tutoring? Or gate duty? Or work with a club? Or respond to the barrage of emails from admin who won't leave their offices? When do I just get to be with my own kid and not feel bad for leaving my school bag in the car?
So I've felt guilty for not doing any school work today. I vegged out in front of the TV watching that Anna show on Netflix. It was mind-numbing, and I'll pay for it tomorrow when I'll end up writing lesson plans until midnight or one in the morning. Then on Monday, be too tired to be engaging.
Got advice for this never-ending cycle?
I wish I could say it is easy to balance both worlds, but it's not. I would spend many days at work by 7:45 am and not leave school until 6:30 pm only to get home and eat dinner by myself because my husband and kids were hungry and could not wait until 7:15 to eat (I didn't blame them). But then Covid hit and I noticed that even when I was home and online all day, it would be 7 pm before I got off the computer. So that next school year I decided I have to set an alarm and whatever got done, got done. I prioritized based on what was needed for that day and the next. My thought was "I don't bring my laundry to school, or wash my dishes, or pay my bills, so if I'm not bringing my housework to work, then why am I bringing my schoolwork to my house?" Some days it's tough to do, but each day the guilt gets less and less. Good Luck!!
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